Tameka Raymond's Mother's Day blog post for her sons.
Dear God,
Thank you for each of my sons. I love them so much. I am absolutely
enamored merely by their existence and I cannot imagine living my life
without them. I realize that I was only at the tender age of 19 when I
decided to have my first child. It was a sensibly tough, yet wise and
necessary decision. Everyone told me I was not ready to be a mother, but
I entered into this journey of Motherhood anyway. Armed with a brave
heart, naiveté, an iron-will, and youth. I proceeded with the motherhood
experience, it is what I have always likened or perceived a gang
initiation to be. It was me being thrust blindly into a scary,
multi-faceted, fast paced, learning abyss. Nobody told me what to
expect, nor could they prepare me for life as a new Mom. None of my
girlfriends, younger sisters, or cousins were parents at the time.
Luckily God, I had you to lean on, because after my son Darrin's
birth, I slipped into nearly a week long bout of the 'New Mommy Blues'
(aka postpartum depression). I walked around both dizzy and aimless for
that entire first week because I was so exhausted from being startled
and awakened by the abrupt, siren-like cries of my newborn blasting my
eardrums. I was totally unprepared. I was scared but I could only share
my fears with you, because I had to appear to be ready with my Mom and
Grandmom watching. You knew I was weak, but through my weakness, I
gained strength… Being a new mom for me meant patience, a lesson in
self-reliance, unwavering loyalty and unconditional love.
My first born gave me one of the most important of life skills:
resilience. During that cycle, he transformed me from being a teenaged
girl to womanhood via motherhood. Today, at 19, Darrin is superbly
mature, laid-back, low-key, peaceful, non-materialistic and completely
himself. He gives me no teenage angst; he is introspective, he flows,
he’s like a hippie born during the "Woodstock" era, in spirit. He is so
unaffected by my lifestyle or anything remotely mundane or flamboyant.
Lord, only you know how I would have been at 16, so immature and with a
"famous" step-parent or parent, you would have thought I was born a
Lauder or Hilton;-) I thank you for Darrin because he blesses me with
his individuality, simplistic, humble, down to earth spirit, and
meekness. Oh, and he's never been in trouble, that in itself is a
blessing these days.
Some nine years later, when I gave birth in 1999 to my second son
Ryan, I was far better prepared. You blessed my son with gifts of
honesty, good looks, and athleticism beyond my imagination. Not only is
he talented, he is so fair and believes in only playing by the rules.
Ryan, now 11, teaches me the benefits of discipline (hard work), the
value of being a team player and following the 'rules'. He is a blessing
to me, because he is like a 'little Grandpa', keeping me in line; no
texting or cell phone use while driving, and a constant reminder to obey
speed limits. At times, I feel like I'm driving with Oprah or even a
pastor ;-) He is a walking PSA - he pulls my coat tail and helps me keep
focused on values, rules, morality and responsibility (punctuality) -
always making me think, care about people and the world around us.
Then there is Kile… My artisan, he's Andy Warhol meets Bill Gates
coupled with Justin Bieber and infused with Emeril. Now Lord, you know
you clearly pushed my threshold for pain to new heights with that little
guy. I really thought I was secretly being filmed for the pilot for
"Fear Factor." That birthing process made me realize that I was stronger
than I ever thought I could be. In honor of him, I got a tattoo that
reads "To defy with courage..", written in Arabic. I actually have five
(5) stars tattooed to denote each of my sons. Now, at 9 years old, he is
fast becoming a well read, computer 'techie', who says he wants to be
"an artist and chef since he's "already a singer". My son blesses me
with his ambitious energy and his tenacity teaches me that you can do
anything and overcome any obstacle if you simply believe and work toward
that goal.
Almost seven years passed and in 2007, You blessed me with yet
another son, Usher V. At 2 ½ years old, He has already mastered the art
of charm through puppy-dog eyes and laughter. Lord, that child is also
so fearless that he even taught himself to swim by simply watching his
older brothers dive in and frankly just not being afraid of obstacles.
His affectionate way and ability to smile under any circumstance teaches
me that there is still "good" in this world. I am blessed by his innocence, fearlessness and loving spirit, amidst
it all. His light and playful nature tells me "its not that serious
Mom. Live, Love, Laugh."
The most recent gift from You… Naviyd Ely, my youngest son, has a
Persian name that means 'God’s Gift.' It also means “Good news”. Lord…
This child of mine has been a 17 month-long blessing, Naviyd is one of
the happiest babies I have ever met. Ironically, he's very reminiscent
of a Cherub, smiling ALL of the time, even if I'm down or feeling
melancholy he can light up my day. Born after a discordant pregnancy,
during a stormy, uncertain period in my life, he brought peace to an
unsettled heart and mind. His existence was my assurance, a promise to
me that the nonsensical actually makes sense. I am blessed each day to
awaken to his eternal smile. Naviyd is beautiful & pure; he is my
calm and my peace amidst the chaos in this world. His name exemplifies
who and what he is to me.
It's been a 17 month-long blessing, Naviyd is one of the happiest
babies I have ever met. Ironically, he's very reminiscent of a Cherub,
smiling ALL of the time, even if I'm down or feeling melancholy he can
light up my day. Born after a discordant pregnancy, during a stormy,
uncertain period in my life, he brought peace to an unsettled heart and
mind. His existence was my assurance, a promise to me that the
nonsensical actually makes sense. I am blessed each day to awaken to his
eternal smile. Naviyd is beautiful & pure; he is my calm and my
peace amidst the chaos in this world. His name exemplifies who and what
he is to me.
In life, we are sometimes hardened by the trials and pressures we
have to deal with day in and out. But Lord, I would not trade a single
sleepless night for anything in the world. I know that I have to teach
them the direction in which they should go. However, through them You
have taught ME Resilience (Darrin), I have learned discipline, fairness,
and to be more of a humanitarian (Ryan). You have given me the courage
and wherewithal to face, endure and overcome unimaginable pain (Kile).
You have prepared me Lord. You knew that difficult days were on the
horizon. Yes… You knew I would need to understand the true meaning of
fearlessness (Usher V). Yet, at nearly the exact time, You gave me my
calm and my peace so I could brave any storm (Naviyd). I thank You for
being the All Knowing and I thank You for my blessings on this day- with
children Mothers Day is everyday and not limited to one.
In Jesus' name, I humbly thank you.
Amen.
her Lost Ones Foundation for a Diaper Drive Summer Jam at Kangazoom Alpharetta!