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Friday, January 21, 2011

Dating to Marry: What Chilli Wants Isn't All That Bad

I love the television show, What Chilli Wants on VH1. I believe that there’s nothing wrong with telling a man what you want shortly after dating. Maybe even on the fourth or fifth date.  I don’t see what the big deal is in telling him what’s on your mind. If you scare the brotha off, then fine. He wasn’t the right one anyway. I tell my girlfriends to lay it out on the table. Talk about your goals and what you envision for yourself in the next couple of years. Whether it’s a big wedding, house, new job, Masters,  PhD and even a baby.

I believe women over 30 years old need to date to marry; that is if one wants to get married.  If not then just date to date. Too many of my girlfriends have been hanging on to men that aren’t interested in settling down, and who want to play the field (still at 30). Tell him to take his weak game to the court, because you’ve got another one-on-one with someone else. The more you hang on to guys that don’t want to commit, the less likely you are to find your match.

So, cut to the chase and be real with the guys your dating. Go ahead, look at the man sitting across the table from you and tell him what’s on your mind. Don’t beat around the bush and hope that he’ll figure it out, because ladies, he won’t. I’ve been with my man for 12 years, married 5, and he still can’t read my mind (bless his heart). Life’s too short to fool around. When the clock is ticking you don’t have time to waste.

Sojourner Marable Grimmett has a BA in communications from Clark Atlanta University and an MA in media studies from Pennsylvania State University. She is a stay-at-work mom and her experience in higher education spans over 10 years working in student services and enrollment management. She lives in Atlanta with her husband, Roland and two young sons, Roland Jay and Joshua. Visit her blog and follow her on twitter.


  1. I don’t see what the big deal is in telling him what’s on your mind.

  2. Great post!

  3. Shun - Thanks for commenting on my post!